Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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