Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
