I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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