sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
