"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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