You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
