I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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