Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
