I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
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