Do you still have your period?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Every concussion has its silver lining
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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