I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
