I wannas sexs uuuuu
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
