sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize