I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
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