he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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