it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
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