I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
