she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
