Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
