Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
