Whatcha textin bout Willis?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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