Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
