Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
