O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
foreskin is a definite game changer
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
