I should be sponsored by Trojan
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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