The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
