Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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