You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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