I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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