You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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