i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize