I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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