Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
