apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
