all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
