p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
