She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
