Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
