Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize