I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
