My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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