bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
