Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
