well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Boobs are out for the taking
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
