Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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