you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
