Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Is Oprah even human
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize