is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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