i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
