can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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