the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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