remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
