I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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