Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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