i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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