just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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