Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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