Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
