Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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