My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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